Jim Jones And The People's Temple

So you've got no friends, your girlfriend has left you and you're as vacuous as a light bulb. Well, then, what do you have to lose? Join a cult! But not one of those "we meet every other Thursday, it's your turn to buy the pizza" cults. I'm talking a "shave your head, swear allegiance, I'll fucking kill you if you leave" cult.

It'll be great. All of a sudden everything will make sense. Your life will have structure and you won't have to think anymore. Can't you just feel the serenity? But the hardest part is finding the right one. So here's where I can help:

Click On The Mesmerizing Fellow Below And Listen Carefully.

And Now Watch The Clip I've Posted.

Okay? So now go out and look for someone just like Mr. Jones. You're gonna be fine.