Andy Dick-- King Of The Burn
Everything about motivational speakers is pretty damn creepy. The intensity, the enthusiam, the 10 steps to world domination. But at least I can see what's driving the actual speakers: $$$. My guess is most of 'em don't believe the shit they're spewing, they've just figured out a new way to separate the weak-willed from their hard-earned dough.
But what about the attendees? Are they fucking stupid? Are they sheep? I'm not sure. What I do find interesting is that the explosion of these seminars seems to have corresponded exactly with the mass suicide of the Heaven's Gate cult. See, it's my theory that the people who attend these seminars are the same ones who would've joined a David Koresh or Jim Jones-like cult only a few years ago. In fact, they may have actually been members right now if ol' Marshall Applewhite hadn't disgraced cults everywhere with his membership requirements of castration and Nike shoes.
Because, seriously folks, who really needs help with motivation. If you've got something really important to do simply drag yourself off the couch, put your pants on and go and fucking do it. And if not, don't. (See, I'm a motivational speaker, too). And, besides, I'm with George Carlin-- what the world actually needs a little less motivation:
But what about the attendees? Are they fucking stupid? Are they sheep? I'm not sure. What I do find interesting is that the explosion of these seminars seems to have corresponded exactly with the mass suicide of the Heaven's Gate cult. See, it's my theory that the people who attend these seminars are the same ones who would've joined a David Koresh or Jim Jones-like cult only a few years ago. In fact, they may have actually been members right now if ol' Marshall Applewhite hadn't disgraced cults everywhere with his membership requirements of castration and Nike shoes.
Because, seriously folks, who really needs help with motivation. If you've got something really important to do simply drag yourself off the couch, put your pants on and go and fucking do it. And if not, don't. (See, I'm a motivational speaker, too). And, besides, I'm with George Carlin-- what the world actually needs a little less motivation:
And so I bring you in a round about way to today's clip. It's Andy Dick (who very well might be insane) riffing on the absurdity of motivational speakers.-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The people who are motivated are the ones who are causing all the trouble. Stock swindlers, serial killers, child molesters, Christian conservatives. These people are highly motivated. You show me some lazy prick who's lying around all day watching game shows and stroking his penis and I'll show you someone who's not causing any fucking trouble.
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posted by Ryan A at 12:52 AM
1 Comments:
My word, am I ever grateful you led me back to Heaven's Gate. I will NEVER forget that time in crazed cult history.
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