Religious People Are Fucking Scary

Maybe you've heard the hub-bub of late over something his holiness, the Infallible One, Pope Benedict XVI said last Tuesday. You know, when he quoted a 14th-century Byzantine emperor's questioning of Islam's use of violence and holy war:

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new," his Popeliness said, quoting Manuel II Paleologus, "and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Well, as you know, this didn't sit too well with some of our more, how shall I put this, high-strung Muslim friends. In fact, suffice it to say that all hell has broken loose.

So what's strange about this brouhaha? I mean other than the usual civil exchange of ideas between these calm, rational religions?

Well, first off, by the time Manuel II made his speech Christianity had already undertaken at least 10 Crusades, the majority of which were initiated by the Papacy. And what were these but conquest in the name of Lord, butchery in the name of faith. In fact, here is an actual quote from one Raymond d'Aguiliers, a participant in the First Crusade:

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But now that our men had possession of the walls and towers, wonderful sights were to be seen. Some of our men (and this was more merciful) cut off the heads of their enemies; others shot them with arrows, so that they fell from the towers; others tortured them longer by casting them into the flames. Piles of heads, hands, and feet were to be seen in the streets of the city. It was necessary to pick one's way over the bodies of men and horses. But these were small matters compared to what happened at the Temple of Solomon, a place where religious services are ordinarily chanted. In the Temple and porch of Solomon, men rode in blood up to their knees and bridle reins. Indeed, it was a just and splendid judgment of God that this place should be filled with the blood of the unbelievers, since it had suffered so long from their blasphemies.

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So it's the height of hypocrisy for the Pope to say that Islam is the violent religion. And the height of spinelessness for him to use the old "Hey, he said it-- I was just quoting him for shits and giggles" defense.

And, secondly, just in case I was gonna let the other side off easy:

You've just gotta love the Muslim world's reaction to his Papalness' history lesson. There they go, burning him in effigy and calling for another fatwah. As if that hasn't already been done to death. You know, maybe someone should sit them all down and level with them. Tell 'em the Boy Who Cried Wolf fable. Or explain the power of understatement, or of picking their battles. Something.

And then-- nicely, ever so nicely-- let them know that sometimes the logic behind their anger is flawed. You know, like when they rage that the Pope has wrongfully called their religion a violent one. And that, because of this, they must kill him.

Oh, and if anyone would like to drop by for a nice "chat" about my opinions on these matters, feel free. Just don't bother calling first, there are no phones here in Bangledesh.