My manifesto

Alright, I admit it. Strange people intrigue me, always have. I want to figure out how they function in a world not quite made for them, how they survive day to day. But they also make me nervous. Very nervous. That's why I watch them at a distance. From across the food court, perhaps, while pretending to read the newspaper. Or from the safety of my car. What I'm getting at is I'm no Jane Goodall. See, I don't want to be accepted into their social groups, or even make conversation with them. And I sure as hell don't want them touching me. I just want to kick back, in hiding, and observe them. So give me a misshapen priest, or a paraplegic Eskimo, or (my white whale) a MIDGET SERIAL KILLER and I'm happy. Just keep them at a safe distance and, for God's sake, don't let them make eye contact!